It is time that I admitted something.
Despite praising the Lord and recognizing his goodness daily, I am going through one of the driest spiritual times I’ve ever known.
My husband and I have this sweet little bedtime ritual that we refer to as “CPR” – cuddle, pray, read – and we pray together nightly. It was his idea and something I am grateful for; without it, I don’t know when I would set aside time specifically to speak to and meet with God. Every night my husband and I pray for our friends, families, each other and that we would desire to know God more deeply and spend time with him.
And yet, we don’t.
I don’t find myself setting aside time for God. If I’m really being honest I don’t even know where to start. I have been in great biblical community in the past that has gotten me into the Word but even that doesn’t compare to the times that I remember truly ENCOUNTERING the Lord and feeling moved by what I discovered in His word.
This is a hard time. I feel distant. I’m at one of the happiest points in my life, and somehow I can’t figure out how to connect with the Lord.
If you’re reading this, and you’re a believer, would you pray for me? Would you pray that the Lord gives me an idea of how to connect with him? Pray that I would practice the discipline of meeting with God daily and not fill my time with my own things?
It is hard to admit this. I lead a group of high school girls (seniors this year, oh Lord!) and I feel like I have to be this incredible model of what godliness looks like. And, y’all, I’ve felt like I’m falling on my face in setting this example for the past year. I also want to be the wife who spends her mornings in the Word and knows how to encourage her husband in the Lord. I want to be deep in a relationship with God in this beginning of my marriage.
I understand that most of us go through these times. I’m admitting that I’m here so that I can have some love and accountability from my family in Christ. So, will you pray? I’m even open to hearing ideas of how YOU connect with God.
I’m just ready to be out of this desert.